i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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