All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize