I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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