sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
