Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
