The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
