3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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