I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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