are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
