"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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