We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
