Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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