yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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