called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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