weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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