are you so shy because you have an std?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize