i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
