Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
