Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
