Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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