I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
