i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
