It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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