Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
