We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
