the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
