Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
