i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize