they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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