Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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