Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
