I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
