none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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