i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So vagazzling was a success
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