It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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