White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
