yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
