He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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