so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
