all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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