a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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