just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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