New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
