Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
