This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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