Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
