I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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