theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
