i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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