it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
