i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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