belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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