At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
