Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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