marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
