I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
