Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
being pregnant is like rehab
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize