so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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