Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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